I finally acted on my overly-sensitive, over-protective mommy feelings this morning.
When I opened Bean's lunchbox to empty out anything she may have left behind and to pack her lunch for today, I saw a folded sheet of notebook paper. On the outside it read "To: 19 From: 24". All of the kids have numbers in the class, and Bean's number isn't 13. So I asked her what it was. She told me she found it on her desk. Inside, it read, "Don't tock to Samantha." I asked her who wrote it, and she thought it was Trinity because Trinity and Bean have problems.
I'm only hearing one side of the story, but Trinity is always telling Bean not to talk to her. Or that she's a baby. Or, my personal favorite, that she's dirty. Apparently, Bean is dirty because she wears the same pair of jeans more than once a week. She does that because I do laundry in the middle of the week, for pity's sake! I actually took a gift card that we've been saving that Bean got at Christmas to get her a new pair of jeans because she was so upset that if she wore the pair I'd given her to put on again that week, that Trinity would make fun of her.
Anyway, when I saw that note, I was livid.
Even if it wasn't meant for Bean and just mysteriously ended up on her desk, some other little girl was probably getting her feelings hurt. And that's not okay. I don't remember this kind of catty, nasty girl behavior until probably fifth grade. These girls have the rest of their lives to be torn down by other women (which is, by the way, extremely counterproductive in my opinion, since they should have a little fucking solidarity), and first grade is not the time to start.
We hurried to get our morning routine done so we could get to school early. When we got to school, I sent Bean to class and got signed in as a visitor. I asked Mrs. Higgins if she had a minute to talk, and I showed her the note.
I hate to come across as an overly-sensitive, over-protective hippie, but this just wasn't okay with me. At all. Mrs. Higgins told me that they've already had to talk about some bullying issues, especially the girls. Apparently, one girl has to go to a counselor once a week to help her deal with the more "aggressive" girls. I told Mrs. Higgins that I wasn't trying to be a "tattle-tale", but that I would want to know if Bean was being nasty. I said that when Bean comes home talking about someone being mean to her, I tell her to be as nice as she can be because sometimes these kids aren't very nice because maybe their parents or brothers and sisters aren't so nice to them at home.
She said they'd talk about it, and she thanked me for bringing the note. She also said that Bean is very sweet, very environmentally conscious, and that she loves me (Bean, not Mrs. Higgins).
The part of all of this that strikes me as incredibly ironic is that even though I hate that these girls are already cutting each other down, when I thought someone was hurting Bean's feelings, the mean mama bear in me said silently, "Huh. Well, at least my kid can spell 'talk' correctly."
I guess we're all mean girls sometimes.
When I opened Bean's lunchbox to empty out anything she may have left behind and to pack her lunch for today, I saw a folded sheet of notebook paper. On the outside it read "To: 19 From: 24". All of the kids have numbers in the class, and Bean's number isn't 13. So I asked her what it was. She told me she found it on her desk. Inside, it read, "Don't tock to Samantha." I asked her who wrote it, and she thought it was Trinity because Trinity and Bean have problems.
I'm only hearing one side of the story, but Trinity is always telling Bean not to talk to her. Or that she's a baby. Or, my personal favorite, that she's dirty. Apparently, Bean is dirty because she wears the same pair of jeans more than once a week. She does that because I do laundry in the middle of the week, for pity's sake! I actually took a gift card that we've been saving that Bean got at Christmas to get her a new pair of jeans because she was so upset that if she wore the pair I'd given her to put on again that week, that Trinity would make fun of her.
Anyway, when I saw that note, I was livid.
Even if it wasn't meant for Bean and just mysteriously ended up on her desk, some other little girl was probably getting her feelings hurt. And that's not okay. I don't remember this kind of catty, nasty girl behavior until probably fifth grade. These girls have the rest of their lives to be torn down by other women (which is, by the way, extremely counterproductive in my opinion, since they should have a little fucking solidarity), and first grade is not the time to start.
We hurried to get our morning routine done so we could get to school early. When we got to school, I sent Bean to class and got signed in as a visitor. I asked Mrs. Higgins if she had a minute to talk, and I showed her the note.
I hate to come across as an overly-sensitive, over-protective hippie, but this just wasn't okay with me. At all. Mrs. Higgins told me that they've already had to talk about some bullying issues, especially the girls. Apparently, one girl has to go to a counselor once a week to help her deal with the more "aggressive" girls. I told Mrs. Higgins that I wasn't trying to be a "tattle-tale", but that I would want to know if Bean was being nasty. I said that when Bean comes home talking about someone being mean to her, I tell her to be as nice as she can be because sometimes these kids aren't very nice because maybe their parents or brothers and sisters aren't so nice to them at home.
She said they'd talk about it, and she thanked me for bringing the note. She also said that Bean is very sweet, very environmentally conscious, and that she loves me (Bean, not Mrs. Higgins).
The part of all of this that strikes me as incredibly ironic is that even though I hate that these girls are already cutting each other down, when I thought someone was hurting Bean's feelings, the mean mama bear in me said silently, "Huh. Well, at least my kid can spell 'talk' correctly."
I guess we're all mean girls sometimes.
Here's a picture of my girl doing what she does best. :)
4 comments:
Bean rocks. And so does her mom.
Mean girls indeed. :(
Gracious, she is gorgeous.
I hate that girls get so mean so young...it's awful. :(
This post hit me on so many levels. Grade 4 induced post traumatic stress disorder is kicking in.
I love how you're teaching Bean empathy. Just love it.
Post a Comment