Uncomfortable

So, at my evening job, I work with this girl. She's 21, she's funny, we get along really well. And most of the time she's pretty great.

But she hates kids. I mean, she hates them. She gets freaked out by carrying the high chairs or cleaning them off. In her defense, cleaning those things is pretty freaking disgusting. Mashed food in the straps. *gag* But she's really visibly freaked out by children. The other day, we had clean day at the pub (which, by the way, is also disgusting. Did you know people can spill beer over ten feet up on the wall? Yeah.), and one of the managers brought her 4 year-old. This girl kept moving away from this little kid like she was diseased. She also has a shirt with a little boy and girl on it that reads "I hate children".

You know what? She's 100% entitled to her feelings and opinions. That's fine. That's one less hungry mouth to feed in the world, one less consumer gobbling up resources like it's an Olympic sport, since she won't be creating any new life. And I get that some people just don't like children. I don't like all children. That's totally fine and reasonable.

But it makes me really uncomfortable when she's so vocal about her hatred for children. She even made a comment once about my (very polite, respectful, clean and well-behaved) child. For example, it would be like someone going on and on to my friend about how much they can't stand Asian people when my friend happens to be married to an Asian man. It's offensive.

So instead of putting on my big girl panties and saying just that, saying, "You're being offensive. Cut it out, man", I make sure that all the families with small children are seated in her section of the pub.

God, I love a good show.

Last night, Katey, Ben and I drove from Colorado Springs to Boulder through Denver rush hour traffic to see Mike Doughty play at The Fox (with The Panderers opening).

And, God, it was so worth it. The Fox is, really, the size of a bar. A large-ish bar, but a bar. I love going to shows in small venues where you can stand 30 feet from your favorite musicians.

I think the thing I loved most about the show last night is how connected to the audience Mike Doughty and The Panderers were. The only show I've ever been to with visible security and extra separation from the musicians and the fans was a Tool show. And, really, I love Tool, but the Tool show I went to a year ago sucked. It sucked hard.

I love interaction at shows. I love when I can tell that an artist really loves what they do. I've been to some good shows, damn good shows where the musicians were just totally aloof. Humble, but closed up. Which is cool. I understand that. But I love these kinds of shows better.

The only real gripes I have about the show are that I really really REALLY wanted to hear more stuff off of Skittish and Rockity Roll. I like the new stuff. A lot. But, dammit, I wanted to hear "40 Grand in the Hole".

Also? This is not a show gripe. It's a people gripe. The meathead standing next to me taking up about 3 feet all around him of dance space. He was freaking me out a little, and he almost hit me in the eye with his elbow at one point. Rock out, dude, that's great, but realize you're not the only one in the room. And? A group of CU girls standing two feet from me talked through almost the entire opening set. As the music got louder, they got louder. I didn't drive for over 2 hours to hear about what some stupid boy did or didn't text some girl about. Just as Katey was about to say something, a guy went over to them and said, "Excuse me. I came to hear music. And you guys are really loud. Could you go out in the lobby if you want to talk?" YES! Thank you, random guy.

Anyway. Yes. The show. Awesome. One of the first songs Mike played was "Fort Hood", off the new album "Golden Delicious". It was even more powerful in person than on the CD. And it's so fucking fitting that I went to this show and heard this song one day after the Pennsylvania primaries. I'm getting so sick of the Obama and Clinton pissing matches. I really am. There is so much at stake, and there is so much positive change that can happen, and they are kind of acting like children.

So, watch the video. Listen to the words. Really listen. It's phenomenal.

Also? I forgot. Check out The Panderers. They sound like Mike Doughty and Cake had a lovechild, and they rock.

P.S. If you ever want to fake sick the morning after a concert or a late night of partying or whatever? Just pretend you have diarrhea. No one wants you around, and no one will question your absence.

Pray for rain

My husband's job is in serious jeopardy.

His job depends on there being rain. And there hasn't been. At all, really. There have been fires and 70+ degree days with lots of wind. No real moisture, though.

It wouldn't be quite so worrysome if the lake they have didn't leak. But it leaks, the new owners don't want to pay the $500k it would cost to line it, so they're losing water all the time. They lose water, and they only get their lake re-filled every so often. They count on rain in those inbetween times to tide them over. And it's just not happening.

I really hope all the local yokels are happy now. It's dry as hell, there have been fires (I could see flames from my back porch from one of these fires), and my husband (and a handful of others) might lose a job, but I hope they're happy that they can all wear their fucking flip-flops.

So pray for rain for us. Rain or the decision to line the lake.

Finally

After two and a half years, we are no longer Penrose St. Francis's bitch.

I've been paying between $65 and $75 every month for the past two and a half years for an ER visit.

Last month, I got a bill for the balance of $235. So I called and asked if I could pay half then and the last half this month. They said it was fine, so yesterday afternoon, I paid off the last $117 of this stupid bill that has been hanging over our heads.

Finally.

So, great, this extra $65 a month can go toward healthcare now that Hubs' company has dicked him over royally. But that's another bitch for another day.

hm

When did I become the most boring person I know?

When someone I haven't seen for a while asks me what I've been up to, what's new, my answer is always:

"Oh, not much, really. Just been working."

And it's the truth.

Stuck

I've been in this kind of low-level panicked mode the past few days. Constant upset stomach, on the verge of tears.

Hubs and I are not renewing our current lease when it's up. We want to buy a house. However, we'll be trying to get 100% financing. That, paired with having the taxes rolled into the monthly payment, severely limits what we're able to afford. We don't want to live in a crappy neighborhood, and we don't want to live in a home the size of a shoebox. So we're really limited to one particular area of town. It's near where we live now, and the idea of it makes me absolutely miserable.

I was really hoping to get away from the Walmart. And the water and sanitation plant. And the army base. And the two sets of train tracks. I'm panicked at the thought of trying to re-sell in this area in 4 or 5 years because it's not a super desirable area. It's been hard coming to terms with the fact that I'm going to feel like I settled. If it was up to Hubs, he'd probably live 5 minutes from his mom for the rest of his life. But it's so far away from everything. I wish we could afford to live in a different neighborhood. But the home prices are super inflated compared to the average income in this town.

Which leads me to my job. I'm completely unhappy with it right now. I feel like people here don't have any faith in my ability to do anything even remotely creative or difficult. I'm quiet, so I'm not constantly brown-nosing my way into a better position, but if someone asked me, "Hey, can you come up with an idea for this?", I'd really give it a shot. I would try. I get the feeling that they see me as some sort of mental midget, too. I'd leave, but we're trying to buy a home this fall, and really, this is the town of very little opportunity.

I'm feeling really trapped by life right now, and it's giving me palpitations. And not in the fun way. I feel bad saying that, too, because I love Hubs. And I love Bean. I just... feel strangled.

Maybe it's just PMS.

In less than 3 weeks....

In less than 3 weeks, I will be in Denver eating awesome vegan diner food with Katey and Ben before we go to Fox Theatre in Boulder for a show.

For a show to go see this guy!






Mike Doughty!

Oh, yes, there will be rockin' good times.

I'm so excited! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

In the past year, I've been really fortunate to be able to see a couple of my most favorite bands ever (read: EVER!) play live. Up close and personal, too, not at some huge arena that charges $70 a ticket.

Last spring I saw The Decemberists with My Perfect Diamond opening. And last fall, I saw Interpol with The Liars opening.

By the way, Paul Banks should just dump Helena Christensen, move to Colorado, and have my freckly pale children.


Anyway. Yes! Mike Doughty! Live! For the very first time! Very exciting.